I found a great article today from Dr. Elisha Goldstein, who maintains an excellent blog on mindfulness and psychotherapy, that talks about mindfulness & blaming. Give it a read when you get a chance; I think it’s particularly helpful for couples caught up in the “Find the Bad Guy” (aka Debate Team) cycle.
Happy reading 🙂
Thanks for the link, Dr. Sharp. I find one of my most frequent defense mechanisms is to deny my personal responsibilities by blaming someone else (usually the person that has confronted me about my wrongdoing). Sadly, I do this with my wife as well, although I try very hard to avoid it.
Denying personal responsibility is a great defense mechanism! We all engage in it. Kudos to you for recognizing this tendency and being mindful of avoiding it!